Choices

A few dae ago I was talkin abt life, den death.. next tat came to my mind is choices. Choices in life tat we hav to make. Hard ones n I almost sae easy one, bt ders no such ting as easy choice. All r hard. U noe y? Cuz its a life changing choice. No matter what, everything tat gt to do wif life, is a big and difficult ting to do. What else in life do u hav other den choices tat come wif it. It all started wen u make e choice to come out of u mom's womb n be borned. Then it wen u choose to stand up n walk as well as talk..U get my drift. Choices r everywhere in life. Left, right, up down.. It wil always be there. Even if u try 2 avoid it, sooner or ltr it's cmng back..Belief me.. It always does.

I dun noe wen it strted bt since I can rmb, I was always avoiding conflict, problems, dilemma and mostly choices. I always sum how make someone else choose for me..Which is always the wrong way to do it...Eventhough I know I need to make the decision myself, however I juz can't. I dun noe y bt I juz dun allow myself, cuz every choices I make I will make a big deal to it, eventhough I hate it. I will let myself be emotionally involve in every choices I make. I noe now tat I am the wae I am cuz I am an "S" literally...

Argh enough abt choices. I hate them and wish I never have to go thru' it again but like my Leadership teacher say "Life goes on..." I noe tat and I treasure every time I spent wif people I love.. but den..
1)I regrets alot of tings
2)I make mstakes
3)I hate myself for allowing
4)I _____(filled in the blank for me..sumting bad abt me)
5)life is unfair
bye....

Death is arnd e corner or is it?

"I postpone death by living, by suffering, by error, by risking, by loving."
- Anais Nin, French write(1903-1977)

Actuali tis is wat life means. To die but before that you hav to go through it all, suffering, error(mistake), risk and mostly loving. The word dying can't nva b avoided as sooner or ltr u its gng to be in ur face. I'm veri sure u shud b askin urself why am I writing tis..The truth is tat I am scared tat one dae I won't wake up. I won't get to see my family, I won't be able to talk to them, salam them in the morning when they go to wrk, sae gdbye or gdnite and even sitting wif them during dinner at e dinner table and juz talk to them abt our daily live. Then, I won't be able to go school and see my gals, play wif them, joke wif them, sing wif them, work wif them and juz to be by their side. I won't be able to say sorry to my besties, for nt being there wif them, for nt calling them once a while to say "HI", for not being a bestie shud be. I am scared I won't be able to ask tat certain someone, "Why did it end?". I won't be able to juz stare at the sky and imagine
"Wat wud hav happen if it all turned out differenty"? I juz won't be able to do ani of tat one dae. Tats all it take. ONE DAMN DAY!!!


Normally I wud hav taken all tat for granted and nva do aniting to make it correct and keeping saying to myself "There's still tomorrow". I juz remember of tis song called "If tmr nva comes" by Ronan Keating. It so simple. I juz wanna tried to start a new dae and a new me and new life. I wanna live life on its edge and tinkin in mind tat if I hav one dae left. I wanna sae wat I wanna sae, do wat I wanna do, be wat I wanna be. Or atleast try to. I wanna live tis world wif no regrets.

NO REGRETS!!

School..

WOHOO!! This is the 1st entry I am typing using my lappy(aka HP Pavillion dv3000 fig.1)...Finally got a lappy, eventhough it's nt juz mine alone(which I wished it was) but nah... sharing e burden/cost of tis installment paidly monthly with my dearest sista n brother..

Atleast I am given the fully holding of it wen projects n homework comes cuz I am the onli one still studying in the whole family...Ehk, I just realize I am writing in full "ENGLISH" words, no short form..lol

Okie back to the entry..I want to talk about the most common thing almost all of us is blogging about which is school work..DAMN!! I handed in my IN3D like damn late lor, 1st it was like I thought Jiamin's lappy lag, bt it was my god damn trees was lagging everything..shaite! Then I did wrongly for my files and folder, den I was my objects I didn't combine n delete all by history correctly...den my stupid land was like all over, some high, some low, den my flowers(which was 14*15*4 = alot) can't combine.. I had to restart like god damn 3-5 times cuz of this flowers, den it was my animation couldn't animate properly..ARGHH!!! But finally I handed in yesterdae nite at about 9.20pm..i think so, cuz e technictions came in told the most hated sentence ever "LAB CLOSED!!" ARGHH!!! i wanted to do at home, but den I can't realli sumbit it as my home not internet connection YET!! haha 8(

I am literally sleepy now cuz like I slept onli about 3 hrs on monday nite, den 5 hours yesterdae.. People can't believe tat I slept onli 3 hours on mondae, cuz they sae I look like not sleepy n all.. But nw I noe...I think my brain work this way..I don't feel the effect until like 2 or 3 days ltr... which is now..:( I juz want to sleep nw..actually i can sleep nw, cuz today suppose to be no class.. but still gt projects to do, like DMPF, DBIS, INMM, LEADERSHIP.. :'(
ps:I wanna cry!!

Oh ya, I chose my choice for option block...

It is 3-Dimension.. I didn't know what when through my head that particular day when I chose.. That day I was in school having PC's camp and all.. Me, Daryl, Jin Sheng aka Beanie came to IIT school lvl 5 IN3D lab to rush to go in the system..but stupidly we came in liek 15mins earlier, den the stupid system was up until about 10.05am...During the whole camp, I was thinking which I should choose..I was like freaking asking almost eveyone I know to get some idea...even my mom who don't even know what exactly I study..heh!

Okie, seriously I wanted someone to tell me wat to choose, i dun want to choose myself..god damn it... I want to be told what to do.. I like tat...So below are the reason why I chose 3D:

1. I wanted to do something different.
   
2. My passion is in animation but my mind is in DM(Distributed Multimedia)


3. After the "timer" incident I am phobia already.


4. I was thinking that I was taking the SSO project which is DM (which is counted as a major project) and with 3D in my hand also, I have so-called both world at my hands..


5. Daryl pressed the button for me..haha :P


6. Miss Natasha told me to challenge myself, and since I kinda okay with programming, but my 3D sux, so I tink I should go 3D to expand myself..


7. I got a laptop with great graphics and sound system!! YEAH!!

See my options was simple between DM or 3D but somehow I complicate it so much that I hated myself now for choosing either one...lol

Okie enough about school work and stress...Now for some photos...

Fig.1

My lappy YEAH!!!

My choices...too small can't see..hmm

The 1st pic- a drawing of my friends(w/o face dun noe hw 2 draw)..lol

The 2nd pic- a pic of my hand a few days a go when my sista tatoo(inai) my hand when I was sleeping..siao

The 3rd pic- supposed to b dian in e pic cuz its "HER HOUSE"!! nw u can't complained alreadi,liao!!haha :P

To end of my post an emo picture of me..lol

DAMAGED!!!

I hav been in love wif tis song e 1st time i heard it on e radio.. I like e part wer they sae
"DO YOU HAVE A FIRST-AID KIT HANDY?"

Do, Do you got a first aid kit handy?
Do, Do you know how to patch up a wound?
Tell me,
are you patient,
understanding?
Cuz I might need some time to clear the hole in my heart and I
I've tried every remedy
And nothin' seems to work for me
Baby, (baby)
this situation is driving me crazy
And I really wanna be your lady
But the one before you left me so

Damaged, (Damaged)
Damaged, (Damaged)
I thought I should let you know
That my heart is
Damaged, (Damaged)
So Damaged, (So Damaged)
And you can blame the one before
So how you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it
How you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it
(Baby I gotta know what you are gonna do?)
How you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it
(Baby I gotta know what you are gonna do?)
How you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it
(Baby I gotta know what you are gonna do?)

Do Do you got a first aid kit handy?
Do Do you know how to patch up a wound?
Tell me,
are you patient,
understanding?
Cuz I might need some time to clear the hole in my heart and I
You try to gain my trust
Talking is not enough
Actions speak louder than words
You gotta show me something
My heart is missin' some pieces
I need this puzzle put together again

Damaged, (Damaged)
Damaged, (Damaged)
I thought I should let you know
That my heart is
Damaged, (Damaged)
So Damaged(So Damaged)
And you can blame the one before
So how you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it
How you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it
(Baby I gotta know what you are gonna do?)
How you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it
(Baby I gotta know what you are gonna do?)
How you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it
(Baby I gotta know what you are gonna do?)

Can you fix my H-E-A-R-T
Cuz it D-A-M-A-G-E-D
Can you fix my H-E-A-R-T
Tell me are you up for the challenge
Cuz my heart is

Damaged, (Damaged)
Damaged, (Damaged)
I thought I should let you know
That my heart is
Damaged, (Damaged)
So Damaged, (So Damaged)
And you can blame the one before

Damaged, (Damaged)
Damaged, (Damaged)
I thought I should let you know
That my heart is
Damaged, (Damaged)
So Damaged, (So Damaged)
And you can blame the one before
So how you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it
How you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it
How you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it
How you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it

My heart is
Damaged,
Damaged,
Damaged.

My heart is
Damaged,
Damaged,
Damaged.

My heart is
Damaged,
Damaged,
Damaged.

My heart is
Damaged,
Damaged,
Damaged.

My heart is
Damaged.